Utilizing found objects collected wandering the alleyways and polluted Hamilton shores I aim to illustrate the visceral nature of healing through collagework and accompanying poetry. Conversations within the void of myself as a body of work that confronts my experience of standing at the precipice of transformation, seeing all that needs change; feeling overwhelmed by the work and distrusting of my own capability to create lasting, meaningful growth. The struggle to lessen my attachment to an identity built of suffering, and the familiar maladaptive coping mechanisms that support it. How I am learning to dance with the discomfort of recovery;

         two steps forward
one step back,

                                                      four steps forward,

three & half steps back,
                  one step forward.

How in punishing myself for my own resiliency I become a self fulfilling prophecy, internalizing anger meant to direct me towards the systematic failures that need to change. How trauma has become complex, compounded through generations of neglect and snake oil quick fixes, that continues to spread as do invasive plants, resilient too when not pulled out by their roots. How care can be the antithesis of capitalism.

I cannot provide any concrete answers, it would be arrogant to assume I know any better how to heal than you, but I’ll leave you with a truth- that healing ripples outward the same way as harm. I see that you are trying and recognize that trying looks different for all of us, and though we can always try harder there will be times when we can’t and that’s okay. Sometimes just existing is enough, and for all those little moments where you recognize and decide to do better- I am so proud of you, and I hope you find space to be too.